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| First off. GEZ! Look how young my picture was hahahahahah. HAHA wow..Well I just wonder who still reads xanga. Since its the new years and everything, I believe there is always a better out there for everyone. Dealing with some of the things from past years makes me think how much I have really changed. Wondering if I am that same person long time ago. Change is good i can say, but not to a point where it takes you off of your current path. I need to get things straight in my life and set my priorities to staying focused. I actually really know what I want to do now and its funny because as each year goes by, as much as you know what you want to do in the future, theres always obstacles that detour you to get off of the path you want to be on. That is not going to happen anymore, well I am going to try my best for it not to happen because things like that are inevitable. But basic plan for my life, get my B.S in Clinical Health Science, get into the academy, work in a clincal setting for a year, go to paramedic school, then hopefully get picked up by a Fire Department to work as a Fire/paramedic. That has been and still is my dream....I will achieve it. "Can't nobody bring me down." The 21st birthday is coming up in April and I do not really know what to do! Well technically this summer is my 21st gift but the day of ,(which lands on a Friday), I do not know what to do.. I can't wait till the summer though because I will be studying abroad in China for a month! It will be my first time going out of the country so I am stoked to just be able to get the chance to get out of cali for a month and just do my own thing. Gonna go with some of the cal poly pomona homies so it will be a blast! This year will be a better, I just know it. If not, well...that is what hope is for. If there is no hope, there will not be anything for you to be looking forward too. Hoping for something is worth living for.. That be it! haha im gonna try to bring xanga back. | | |
| I just thought i would write in this since i havent in a very long time.
Well the college life...
Should be a blast right? well for me its pretty much the opposite. Don't you hate it when u have such high expectations for something, when you experience it, it was never close to what you imagined it to be? This is exactly how i feel about the whole COLLEGE life. But besides my sob story, i wanted to share childhood thought. I know everyone has had a childhood thought of some sort where you believed that something was going to happen, but you were just oblivious of when it actually was going to happen. Well the thought i had in mind then was more vague but come to realize it, from here on, you notice changes that will affect your life immensly. In my situation, i just figured out im not going to be apart of the whole "San Gabriel Valley" community anymore. Im moving to Huntington Beach. Of course you are thinking, "DAMN i wish i lived there being so close to the beach and everything!" For me its alittle bit different. I am happy about leaving this place of asians, but honestly i am sad since i have been living here my whole life. My main friends are here and i just cant quit them just like that. 45 days is all that i have! thatz just about a month and a half. Its insane how when something big is changed in your life, you see things much differently than seeing just superfically. I also have realized that im not going to be the only one who is going to be uprooting my roots and going somewhere fresh and new. Though i guess my family has started earlier than expected. This is where i have come to realize that everybody is going their seperate ways now, not only me but my friends are to. Everybody has their own lives now and has their own places, etc. I am not going to start naming down the list but i never expected this to be actually happening as of right now. It is truely a start of a new and so far, i dont think i like this type of new. I guess it takes some time to get used to but i just cant believe how things are changing so fast now. Its crazy how fast things just fly by where i was just graduating highschool and im now done with the first year of college? WTF. I mena, where in the hell did that year go? But getting back onto the topic of friends having their own lives and such, i believe this is the time where you can see who your true friends are and where your social life gets condensed to just a few. Well in my case. I truely know who my friends are and who i guess i can say are and were just acqaintances. It is just interesting to think about how such a simple thought as a child can grow into such a self realizing true fact. You may not agree with me but i for one just went through all that in just one year of my supposedly new start.
MusIK - Oleander : Halo | | |
| Highschool. The place you go to after middle school which means more things to take on and experience. High = a higher level of new experiences and different events that you will overcome. School =....self explainitory. But while you in highschool, you dont really cherish the moments that happen to you everyday. You just let things go by becuase you know you will be going back to it all the next day. Freshman year..we all remember our freshman year. being all oblivious and thinking everything was soooo great because of the new environment and new people..well sort of. Formal DANCES for the first time..getting the COURAGE to ask that that someone you have been crushing on for so long. Anticipating the answer and hoping it will be a yes. Sophmore year. wisefools was the right word for that year, because of us thinkin that we knew everything about highschool since we experienced it for one year. i know i was one of them. this year was probably the main year where you became part of a GROUP of friends or had CLOSER friends. The buiding block year of your friends. The foundation year. Junior year..you having the HARDEST schedule of your life and had to put ur face in many more books than the following years. But besdies the school work..more and more friends come into your life and you start to get that little VOICE in the back of your head saying "wow this is great, i'll have these friends FOREVER" you still being ignorant about when everybody starts to leave in your life. You've been to friends graduations here and there, just observing but not really FEELING how it must be because your not the one going through it. Junior year, you starting to feel the "OLD" coming out in you and not realizing what is coming up next year. The big year...SENIOR year, you finally realize you are on top, on top of your stacked blocks from freshman to sophmore to junior year. You finally going to place your last block on top. You start to reminisce...about all the good things that happened to you STILL being ignorant that your not coming back the following year. youve made your marks on various parts of the campus. Lunch area, place to meet, routes to get to you classes, and everything. Past relationships youve had...friends that have come and gone. its now the middle of the year...you start stressing with school but also make A LOT more time than usual to hang with friends. Your last formal dance is coming up...PROM. the dance that you always see in movies...it could good or could be bad, its wat you make of it. Ditch day..you always remember how unfair it was how seniors got to ditch one day and the rest couldnt. but your ditching now..you have nothing to complain about. all you do is have fun. last day of school. you talk to people that you havent talked to probably all four years of highschool and also meet new people that are AWESOME. you dread not talking to them sooner becasue its the last day. Baccalaureate..so many familair faces still ignorant about not seeing them again. Graduation..your done...and its over. highschool life. you either had an awesome time or a bad time. but it was highschool life. that was a section of your life. you FINALLY realize its over..you breakdown..and start missing people even when theyre right infront of you. i remember someone told me "highschool goes by just like that" of course i didnt believe him. just like whoevers still in highschool right now reading this. ur not gooing to believe me. but once you get to where I am, the state of REALIZATION, take in consideration wat grads say to u becuase we're right about this kind of thing and your wrong. To the people who have graduated like me, you know wat im talking about. all i can say is be glad to have had a highschool experience. its your growing block to everything. well i just had a lot on my mind lately and this is a rough LONG thought. so lol if u read all this...haha well ur kool. i just want to say thank you to EVERYBODY who has been part of my life and to truely make it MY LIFE. ive had my up and ive had my downs. i dont regret anything that has happen to me beacuse it was meant to be how it is. you dont question ur past beacuse you cant change it. so why worry? just live and do the damn thing. but i am truely thankful for ALL of my friends, experiences, and everything. but thatz enoguh blabbering for me...laters yall. feel free to comment if ud like. | | |
| we're done! what more can i say? | | |
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